A few short years ago I was in a place in my life that was a transition. The hallway of this transition felt like my darkest hour.
My husband and I were getting ready to move across the country when he ended up in a hospital having his leg amputated. That was not the darkest hour. After his surgery, he had a near-death experience and no; that too, was not the darkest hour. I was in the middle of selling our home, packing up our belongings and literally had no place to live. Nope - that too was not my darkest hour.
So you are asking "for the love of God what was my darkest hour?"
It was being so overwhelmed of all that was coming at me where I was literally frozen with fear and indecision. I was, however, thankful my husband did not die. I was thankful our house was sold. I was thankful I was organized and could pack a home by myself.
But to feel the gratitude, now that was a stretch. The only thing I could feel was my energy collapsing, my vitality for life diminishing.
One morning I realized I wanted to be grateful for my life and to live with joy again. That is when I decided to get out a journal and start writing about everything I WAS grateful for in my life......
There are 2 things you may not think you would find in a hallway of darkness. Gratitude, and a way to express it which can be accomplished through journaling.
Did you know gratitude and journaling are “get out of the dark free cards”?
I know, I accept when you are really stuck you may not have the energy to actually write anything down. And don't even get me started on the fuzzy brain to look around and see anything to be thankful for. I would like to invite you to open your mind to a possibility; perhaps it is not as difficult as you may think.
A gratitude journal is a way to focus on positive actions in your life. Especially when you are feeling the positive train just left you standing at the station.
Your journal can be written in a lovely book, it can be an audio recording or typing on a device. If you don't like the sound of your voice or seeing yourself in a video then writing your gratitude moments is probably the better choice. If you like to do things on the go then using an app on your phone may be the ticket.
Choose the method which feels appropriate for you so you can remain engaged and committed.
This is your journey of joy so pick the one that makes your heart flutter with excitement.
You may be asking, but how exactly does keeping a gratitude journal help move me out of the hallway of no thanks?
I started by jotting down anything in the day I felt grateful for. My grateful list varied from having a dispenser for packing tape that worked properly to seeing my husband healing quickly after his surgery.
I decided I would journal before I went to bed each evening. This action was like a mind dump. Instead of laying my head down on the pillow to rehash what didn't work through the day, I was able to smile and see all the positive things I had experienced. I felt calmer and slept soundly.
My gratitude list grew. In the beginning, I would struggle to see 5 items to write down but soon I could have a page full of thankful moments. As my day unfolded I would find myself swapping a "what now?" to "now what!"...with positive curious anticipation of the opportunity to practice a moment of thanks.
Some evenings I would flip through the pages and I would read all my grateful moments. I could feel my energy brighten as I relived all those wonderful times.
I am able to read over past entries when I need a boost, to be able to see the many times I have been grateful.
I acknowledge situations can turn out better than expected. And when something didn't show up that I was anticipating, I had a record of something better that did!
One important thing I learned along the way was not to judge the length of the list. It did not matter if I could fill a page or only write down one thing. It was focusing on the feeling that was activated in me in the particular moment. The feeling was happiness, joy, and love.
I began to realize what was truly important in my life and what was not. It certainly prepared me for letting go, when I acknowledged areas in my life that were not working for my highest good. I knew when I released anything, something better came to fill the void.
And you know why I understood that?
Because I had written proof time and time again. That was so empowering!
What do you write in a gratitude journal if you are not seeing much to be thankful for?
Do you need a little jump start?
Let me shine a light in your dark hallway so you can see some grateful moments. Click on the button below to receive your jump start. There is no opt-in required.
I am happy to help!
I can't help pick out your new journal.
I can help you jump start what to write in it.
Until next time,
Giving thanks when all you see is darkness ahead.
October is the month that we in Canada celebrate Thanksgiving. Families and friends gather to eat together. This is a huge time that focuses on family, friendship, togetherness and giving thanks. It is the dream holiday for the greeting card and travel industries.
The reality is that many people are not feeling the gratitude. They may be standing in a hallway that is not feeling too cheerful. Some may be in the hallway alienated from family, experiencing job loss or financial difficulties. This may be the first major holiday without a loved one.
When I have been standing in a dark hallway, my thought might be why bother?
Why bother to give thanks if I am not feeling like anything I have asked for, attempted to manifest or dreamed about is here?
Have you ever felt that way too?
The hallway of no thanks is one I like to exit quickly.
Just as I have experienced the feeling of no gratitude, I have also had the joy in what is created when I am feeling thankful.
Making a slight pivot can create the energy of seeing more in my life to be thankful for than what I first thought.
I use the time in the hallway for some reflection.
Let’s face it when you are in the hallway you aren’t really not moving, so might as well use the downtime for some good old pondering as to the why. Right?
One way to reflect is to see how areas of your life can be impacted with gratitude.
In your emotional body gratitude helps you to be more relaxed. You begin to feel much better and more hopeful. Your resilience becomes stronger to see that you have the stamina to walk through your hallway. Self-esteem builds with strength and often just taking the breath to make a tiny step will lead to larger steps.
Your health will improve with gratitude. Your sleep improves, your mood is elevated and of course, your energy is higher. You find that you are not becoming ill as often and can actually fulfill your daily duties with more grace and ease.
With your vitality supercharged you will see improvements in your career and relationships. Your confidence will be aligned to make clear, focused decisions that will improve your managing of projects or co-working in a team.
The first small step is to reach out to a hallway partner. The secret to that is to choose only the people who will be your cheerleader. A close friend, a family member, or mentor who is not trying to “fix” anything but is going to be holding space for as you get your bearings.
Holding space can mean just listening, being a sounding board and will only provide advice or comments when asked. When we give thanks to those people in our life our relationships deepen. They are thankful to be able to be of support and you are thankful that you have someone in the hallway with you.
Yes, it may be that you cannot actually see the gratitude in all of your life areas at the moment. The consideration is then to observe if there is even one area in your life that gratitude may be applied and give thanks for it.
It may be as simple as “I am grateful for each breath I take”.
Another technique I have used during my most challenging time in the hallway of no thanks is to get my energy moving.
As my energy starts to move, I begin to gain stamina and calmness that allows me to pay attention to the positive actions in my life.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you with your Thanksgiving turkey.
I can help you step out of the hallway of no thanks,
with a positive energy flow that you can be thankful for.
As my personal thank you,
I have made a little something to help you get your energy moving.
Go ahead and watch no opt-in is required.
Until next time,
Here we are almost at the end of September.
The fresh fall scent in the air, warm days and crisp cool evenings. Perhaps you are enjoying sitting by an evening fire. Are you the type that enjoys watching the fall line up on TV? Are you finding your house a little on the quiet side? The kitchen does not have endless dishes. The fridge has finally been able to cool properly without the ever ending opening and closing. Your gas gage on the car has maintained a lovely setting of almost full all week long!
Are you in the first phase of the blush of empty nesting?
A few short weeks ago you may have made the trek to transfer your beloved darling child to their greatest adventure of all time. Which may be studying at a university or college located in another city, province or heavens…country.
Or are you an old hand at dropping off the new academic to start their wildest dreams.
This might not be your first rodeo at the #student #study #party #needtokeepfocused.
It however may be your first rodeo of #theygraduated #theyhaveajob #theyhavemovedout #nowwhat!
That first while is like being on a honeymoon. Remember back when? Just the two of you sitting in the evening and have deep meaningful conversations. Holding hands and gazing into each others eyes.
Well, I sure hope this is what it is like for you!
In my experience our empty nesting was different.
Yes, I was totally jazzed to finally get the dark grey walls of my sons’ room painted something airy and cheerful. I was looking forward to the zen meditation room I could create in my daughters room.
What I had not anticipated was the no buffer of children.
For a couple of decades the conversations my husband and I had may have started out deep and meaningful but quickly descended into something around one of the children.
It was a constant distraction and over time we lost the ability to really connect.
And there we were sitting next to each other looking at the other person and wondering “who are you?”
And then the even more curious and perhaps even scarier question “who am I?”
Wow! Both those questions kinda knocked me on my butt!
I was so wrapped up in the excitement of the kids growing up, their new adventures in studying, the great new jobs, the new partners in their lives
I had forgotten about my own dreams. I had lost my identity along the way. I was more than a mom, wife, chauffeur, shoulder to cry on when life seemed unfair.
I was a woman who had dreams, bursting with creative ideas, opinions (just ask my husband he will agree on that one). I needed to reacquaint myself with, well myself!
That was when I began my journey, a transition of “who I thought I was” to “who I truly am”.
Yes, some may say it is spiritual which I agree. My thoughts on spirituality is about discovering self love, self acceptance, self awareness while connecting to the oneness of the universe.
I was able to accept that I could put myself first and that did not mean I did not love my family. It meant that I would get more energy and be able to more present and show up as my authentic self.
This was an opportunity for an ending to something, while I transition into another phase of my life.
It was exciting and scary at the same time. Would I change so much my relationship to my husband would suffer? It was difficult I will not kid you on that but it was not about failure or success it was accepting each other as we were. We had grown so much and our view on life had taken on deeper values. We still had our sense of humour. We could still trigger each other but most importantly we respected each other for the people we had become.
I love learning all the different aspects of myself.
My children oscillated between GO MOM and WHERE DID MOM GO?
I was ready to explore who this grown up woman was and to really understand my early beginnings.
The life experiences that shaped my views and outlook on life. I was excited to learn that I had a blueprint for my life.
That all the components of myself were placed strategically to optimize my growth experience.
Now that was exciting!
I was able to see how different patterns would help me in my relationship to my self and relationships to others. It is an ongoing journey with no particular destination in mind, but man I love the scenery along the way! Even when it feels like there are boulders on the path. I know I have the ability to choose the ease to walk around the boulders, or the more difficult to climb over them.
Yes, my relationships have changed, some have deepened, some have fallen away.
My husband and I have experienced some difficult challenges during our transition time of empty nesting. Having the knowledge of our patterns and who we truly are helped rediscover our relationship. We maintained our sense of humour, we connected with each other in a new way and we started to embrace and enjoy our children as adults (although they will always be my kiddos first).
Transition from a full house to empty nesters can be sometimes exciting. It is the transition from I knew “who I thought I was “ to “who I truly am” that is exhilarating.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you choose what to make over your child’s room into.
I can help you discover the answer to your question of “who am I?”
Until next time,
From the minute we bring a child home we are planning their future. And here it is the day you have been waiting for. What a ride! The day has arrived your little precious child is all grown up and heading off to his or her excellent adventure that perhaps requires secondary education.
An adventure that will probably cost about $30,000.00 or more per year.
Yikes! That will cause some nights of, did we plan enough to pay for it all? Will they actually study or will it be one expensive party year? Will they use that degree in the studies of:
• Politicizing Beyonce
• David Beckham
• Zombie Studies
• Simpsons and Philosophy
• Arguing With Judge Judy
• Harry Potter and The Age Of Illusion
• Star Trek
Yup these are apparently degrees one can choose from says Google. So if you have an aspiring wizard or they have argued with you since their first word which was NO in a language that sounded Klingon, they are certainly covered.
What an amazing time in both of your lives.
The transition from carefree child to child that has to make decisions based on an interest in the moment, to hope that there will be employment in 4 years.
No pressure there right?
The transition from cheerleading, hovering parent to “so you do understand that you will have to get up on your own and go to class all by yourself”. Right?
Perhaps you are saying, “been there done that and got the graduation picture to prove it”.
Our 34 year old son loved coding from a very young age. In fact he helped me design my first website when he was about 13. I was sure he was going to be the next Bill Gates. Nope, that was not happening. From the age of 4 to this day he is a Lego fanatic as creating and building was a passion of his. When the time to choose his secondary education, he chose College with a degree in Electronics Engineering. It was the best of both worlds and he still loves what he does.
My fondest memory is our daughter who is 3 years younger than her brother debating with him if she could or could not read a chapter book. She was in Kindergarten at the time. Her hands firmly planted on her hips she won the debate with a “I can read words and chapter books are just a bunch of words.” She checked out her first library chapter book and her love of words took her to University graduating with a degree in English. Her career is helping others find their words to market their business. This journey was an interesting one of many career changes. One which lead her into the trades for over a year as a apprentice glazier. At the time she felt it was the hardest job as it was very physical and she learned a lot about herself and her “true grit”. However, her love of words kept calling until she answered it to follow her true passion.
Ah yes, life transitions no matter what, they alter our lives and our perceptions of ourselves, and how we view the world.
Think back over situations that felt transitional.
Did you ever wonder why you chose to receive that particular degree or training…before you knew there was one on Harry Potter studies?
What felt right in that moment that this was the path for you?
Did you choose for yourself?
Did you choose out of family obligation? (or after a long line of Podiatrists the change to Zombie studies was made.)
What was the deciding factor?
Did the choice continue to satisfy you or after some years a change in studies or career happened?
Did you graduate with a degree or training to say "nope, I do not think this is for me"?
We are hard wired for certain experiences and learnings. It comes in our soul design of what will help us grow expand and fulfill our souls purpose, as it explores the human journey.
When a life transition comes into play having deep knowledge of our blueprint helps the navigation.
When making the decisions based on how we are designed, they can be made with a clarity, focus and confidence.
Yes, of course we still may want to change our minds about studying philosophy according to Homer Simpson to Politicizing Beyonce, but we will understand why learning each of those topics are of interest, and why it was required in being who we are designed to be.
It supports our decisions and we can release judgment of failure, and embrace the truth that at our core we are perhaps curious by nature. It may be that changing midway allows us to receive various world views that are important to our growth and how it relates to our contribution to the planet.
Understanding your soul blueprint will help you see the patterns of why you chose a particular path, how you are designed to make your decisions and where you will apply your unique abilities to fulfill your purpose.
Whether you have a small child just starting school, a young adult heading off to write their own adventure, or you are questioning the next chapter in your own life, having a guidebook will help along the way.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you study for the Harry Potter exam.
I can help support you while you make choices “to boldly go where no man has gone before..."
Until next time,
Summer is over and everyone is getting back to schedules and routines. This year is a biggie as you may be having a child entering into the school system for the first time, or, it could prompt a walk down memory lane of past years.
The excitement of the shiny new backpack, lunch kit and outfit soon turns into crying and resistance…and that is just you! Your child may be having the easier time.
It is a huge life transition that first time we see out little precious child off to school. Having the anxiety of will they be ok? Who will they sit with at lunch? Will they make friends? Are they prepared enough to be without our help? (aka hovering) And if they have to take a school bus, well that is just a full blown parent meltdown right there.
Does any of this ring a bell? (No school bell pun intended.)
Well, let me tell you a true story about the resilience of a child, the strategy of a parent and the success during change.
Despite my helicopter parenting our child did manage to grow up and have a well adjusted life. Our son is now 34 years old. He has a great career, lovely partner and lots of friends. He is our first born and like most first borns a cautious child. Yes as a first time parent I hovered, I did enjoy seeing him play in the park but I was always on high alert for something that might harm him.
And then it became THAT DAY.
In our area they had just introduced Junior Kindergarten and so at the tender age of 5 he would be attending morning school. I was a stay at home mom which meant he did not have any daycare experience. I did go out and have babysitters however it was not all day every day. We began the introduction of school. The chats about how amazing school is, the fun and friends that would be experienced, all of this to alleviate my anxiety more than his.
Then the unspeakable happened.
Three weeks before the start of school he fell ill. I rushed him off to the hospital one morning, my husband remaining at home with our younger daughter. I stood in a sterile room with a young intern who announced our son had diabetes.
It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. The room felt devoid of any oxygen and the voices seemed far away. My mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer several weeks earlier and I had just returned from spending time with her. I announced I can only deal with one disease at the time so no I don’t think I can do this. In that moment the Paediatric Endocrinologist entered took one look at the wild eyed woman and announced find this woman a seat and a cup of tea!
In that moment I began to breathe, I sat down, drank the tea and waited for my husband to arrive. It was quite the whirlwind of activity that day. Our son was admitted to hospital for about a week. In a blink of an eye we were to transition from being parents to become experts on diabetes, nutrition, psychology and every medical practice known to man. Well...it felt like that!
As we met in the Paediatrician’s office to discuss all things diabetes. She started to discuss schedules, routines and the importance of eating on time, preplanning outings and the list got longer and longer. My husband starts to laugh at which the Dr. says in a rather stern voice, “Mr Ptak, this is a very serious situation you know.” The chuckle gets louder as my hubby wraps his arm around me in a hug and replies “Ya Doc, meet the Queen of Routine, nothing in our house is about to change.”
Yes I am that woman. I love being organized and planning and schedules… lists, and routines, and colourful sticky notes everywhere till everyone around me is driven mad.
Yup, a truth bomb right there folks!
Well, our son came home and we did settle into a new norm. It was not without challenges, tears, frustration, bouts of overwhelm and waves of fear. But as time went on it did get easier and as I said earlier he did grow up and is healthy and happy.
The school year started and that first day was mixed emotions, happy, fear, anxiety, joy, excitement and it cycled to each one several times. Now remember it is only the morning school so from 9:00 till 11:30 and he was in the awesome care of a seasoned Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Cooper. We had met before hand to come up with a strategy that we could all agree upon and our main objective was kid first, diabetes second. It was in that moment in the hospital when our son asked was this forever and I replied “yes and you can control your diabetes it does not control you.” (in a more kid friendly way I recall.) It must have worked because he has always managed his diabetes in a balanced way (somewhat like a cautious first child he is) while not letting it stop him from having a full life..
I did not know then what I know now, but it is my stress pattern of being organized that helped me through one of the most difficult times in my life. The routines and schedules that I loved was actually helping me parent a diabetic child through one of his most difficult life transitions.
I could see it was helpful. It became my barometer as to how overwhelmed I was when I only wanted to make lists and organize stuff….the busy work so I could stuff down any emotions that were bubbling to the surface. When a situation that was not planned (or on the list) I could either go into a tailspin of trying to control it or allow it to unfold. Sometimes it flowed sometimes I held on so tight my hands hurt, either way I got new understanding from it. That new understanding helped propel me forward and take action.
We all have a pattern that we default to during stress time.
Stress can be sending a child off to school for the first time. It can be a parent deciding which lunch kit will be easier for them to manage. It can be standing in a room having the air sucked out of you as life altering news is delivered. It can be choosing which sticky notes will look best as you design and plan your month.
It is all about how we view stress, deal with it or choose to ignore it. The truth is that stress is there for a purpose. It will propel you into taking action and even not taking action. Which is still an action! Ponder that one for a while. (insert large smile)
I would invite you to ask yourself:
If you seem to have a “pattern” to your stress times in the questions you ask, and the behaviour in the response you may benefit from learning how stress helps you. How it motivates you, or, how it can prompt resistance that will create more opportunities for understanding your stress strategy.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you pick out the coolest lunch bag.
I can help you understand your strategy pattern for stressful times.
Until next time,
Have you fallen asleep at the wheel when driving or experienced a near miss? It can be a frightening experience. On moment your eyes are on the road seeing far ahead and the next moment you are jarred awake bullrushes flying past the windows as you sail through a ditch. A detour sign sighted in your rear view mirror.
Wow that can be so unnerving.
Your heart races, your palms clammy, you breakout in sweat and you pray in gratitude to your angels for having you land where you did in one piece!
The same thing can happen on our spiritual road. One moment you are on a path that is easy to navigate and the next moment you are deep in a field of “what the heck” and “how did I end up here?”
As a driver you took precautions, you took lessons to learn how to navigate sticky situations, you had the car properly serviced and you had a map to follow directions.
It was when you pushed the envelope and you did not listen to the cues coming from your body about fatigue and taking enough breaks to be able to handle the drive and having an alternate route for that detour up ahead.
It was in the cheeky mode (ego) of I can do this if I just push on through.
It will be fine!
I bet you are rethinking that as you dial up a tow truck and open the car door to have water come in soaking those brand new designer shoes.
We have our spiritual practices to assist us on our road.
It can be meditation, clearing our chakras, prayer, addressing the energy in our fields that is not flowing but rather stopping our experiences that are to be filled with grace and ease.
All of a sudden you feel like you are walking through sludge. Everyday seems to have one crisis after another. And when did everyone start becoming so negative, sheesh? And fatigue it feels like something has put a tap on you and turned it on to drain you of vitality, creativity and joy.
Yup, it is spiritual narcolepsy.
I first heard this expression coined by Colette Baron Reid an Oracle Master. And I love it. It really does embody what happens.
When we fall asleep spiritually we forget what we are here to do, the path we are to follow and most importantly we set aside our spiritual practices.
This usually leads us to push the envelope until we wake up flying through life swatting at the bullrushes that are holding us back.
Falling asleep at the spiritual wheel can be the wakeup call you need.
Kinda weird how that happens eh?
So then we start looking around, eyes wide open, on alert to what we missed while taking our spiritual nap.
We see where we had stopped meditating, exercising, praying and clearing out the energy crud. (Yup, crud that’s my highly technical term).
Once we begin to lean into our power, set aside time for ourselves, use our spiritual guidebook for directions; we see that life begins to flow again with more grace and ease.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you with those damp designer shoes.
I can help you with awaken from your Spiritual Narcolepsy.
Until next time,
Is Peeking Through The Veils Like Seeing A Scary Movie… Or Are You Curious To See What Is Behind The Curtain?
I know many of you are doing self awareness work. Healing limiting decisions, understanding and clearing the patterns we have adapted in order to survive our lives. There comes a time when we start asking WTF. Why am I seeing this again? Seriously I have dealt with it before. Or you have been so diligent in keeping your energies clear, surrounding yourself with positive people and yet something will come along and perhaps blindside you to take you out at the knees. Can you relate?
There is a theme these days and the reason why I see it as a theme in my life is that people mirror it back to me.
If you see it in someone else take a peek under the hood it is in you too!
The theme is everything is on super speed and you feel you can’t keep up. It seems like you think of something and it materializes. Instant manifestation followed by the "oh crikey, what now I am not ready."
Well, my friends this is the new reality. We talk about veils and how thin they are. I see veils as a way to keep something separated like a curtain on a window. The light may come through but when you look at the view is slightly obscured so you know something is there but it is not clear.
We use veils to prepare ourselves for when we have the knowledge and ability to see what is actually there. For example when you are ready to really release a pattern that you have had for a life time or perhaps many lifetimes you will lift the “curtain” so to speak and truly see it for what it is. Then you can understand it, heal it, surrender it and let it go as it no longer is an adaptation that is required.
It is like watching a scene in a scary movie. You know there is something that is making you afraid but you are not sure what it is. Just when you think the worst will happen a curious cat jumps out of the shadows which makes you laugh. It not what you had built up in your mind after all is it?
This is what lifting the veil is like. You peek through it with one eye not sure of what you will find. You might do this a few times before you are really ready to pull that veil all the way down. The reality of the current energy is that there is no time to really peek and retreat. Once you put that intention out there, the veil is pulled down for you.
You do have some options.
Taking a breath is the first.
Followed by curiosity rather than fear.
If you can look at a situation with a question of “I wonder why” rather than “Oh crap here I go again” the solution will come with grace and ease.
CURIOSITY is OPENNESS while FEAR comes with a huge dose of JUDGEMENT.
When your curiosity has uncovered a few items take the time to explore them.
Ask the questions.
Setting some time for yourself to sit with these questions and writing out the responses will help you release the energy around the emotion from your answers. (I personally think of it like a mind dump - having someplace to hold those ideas and questions while observing and waiting for answers.)
Putting words to paper is like setting a butterfly free. You are giving the words wings to fly energetically to the universe where intentions can be returned as your manifestations.
The answers to these questions will open yourself to deeper exploration. Yes, the veil may lift, however we can explore, assimilate, integrate and grow with curiosity and non attachment.
I am happy to help!
I cannot help you with that curious cat hiding in the shadows.
I can help you lift the veil and see clearly the view that is waiting for your exploration.
Until next time,
If there is one thing we can all agree on is that there is some crazy stuff happening in the world right now. I am not one to follow the news, politics or any of that however you cannot be a resident of this planet without being affected, or informed about the happenings in some fashion.
I have been observing some rather interesting patterns during client sessions. Many people are currently dealing with energy misalignments around vulnerability and feeling very energy sensitive to others.
This affects the day to day experience. I was not really sure what that was all about until I saw the recent energy update from Lee Harris. His theme for the month of June and July was about power and vulnerability.
For those of you who may not be familiar with shields let me give you the Coles notes version. A shield is an energetic field that surrounds your soul essence, top, bottom and sides, front and back. The purpose of the shields are to deflect low dense vibrational energy that would not serve your highest good. The soul can never be broken or damaged and does not need fixing, however, the energy around it can get disrupted with low dense vibration causing misinformation and leaving you feeling vulnerable.
Think of it like listening to a radio station and static interferes with the song. The energy disruption may interrupt the clarity in your guidance that you are seeking.
“Hold on a minute!” you might be saying, “wasn’t that addressed in my initial session.”
Yes, for many there may have been shields missing and that would have been corrected. The shields respond to what we are attracting to us through our understanding and intention. (The old saying energy flows where intention goes.) Current global environment is creating a nervous energy and this information is relayed into the grids where of course we are connected. Being energy sensitives it can be overwhelming and throw us off by creating responses that we don’t quite understand.
Think of a goalie in a hockey net who is used to a certain skill level of a team and then all of a sudden an Olympic team shows up. The goalie is going to have to stretch themselves to a new level of deflecting and protecting that net. A different strategy and perception would be required than the familiar one being accessed. Once the goalie understands how this Olympic team operates the level of his/her ability raises and can effectively protect the net.
This is the same of your shields operating in a new paradigm shift of energy. Your awareness and the ability to address disruptive or lower vibration and where it is originating modulates the shields to deflect the incoming energy.
Using self care and clearing any resistant energies that are activated raises your vibration to align with new energy updates and guides the shields.
Clients are feeling that they are not safe, feeling outside their comfort zone or perhaps they are experiencing something new which is unexplained. This is because they have tapped into the nervous energy being played out in the global consciousness right now. The power struggle among those in positions of authority will affect those who are energy sensitive.
Where are you seeing a power struggle in your own life?
Is it with people in your relationships?
Are you feeling this internally?
Does it feel as though you are disempowered?
Vulnerability and power are closely related. If we deny our vulnerability it will cause struggle to embody being our empowered self. This may show up in our life by not being able to trust. You many notice that you have trouble surrendering and letting go to allow your inner guidance be your life compass.
Power imbalances may show up when our actions may affect another persons vulnerability. Those around us mirror back to us what our current state is. Are we projecting our emotions onto them and then seeing it mirrored back to us?
We may even energetically take on the vulnerability of another as they project on to us or in the case of accessing their energy through our connections. This creates difficulty because we are acting on a vulnerability that is not actually our own. I am sure you have experienced a situation that your life is flowing smoothly, you have great emotions but then seemingly out of left field you start to feel nervous and doubt yourself. If you explore a little deeper someone in your relationship circle may be having a lot of fear or angst and you are picking up on their energy not your own. Take a moment and reflect how watching news reports, social media posts and passionate discussions with others leaves you feeling upset, angry or nervous where you were not that before hand.
You may be in the position of not pushing into your power in life but rather questioning what power is. There is a current paradigm shift from the old patterns of - what am I getting and, I am not safe unless I take power from others. Your vulnerability is asking - am I safe, will I be taken care of if I do this and, what happens to people in my life if my path changes?
The power comes from understanding the connections. The connections to self, to others, to what is currently active in front of us and when we recognize we are more than just our self and see connection to the wholeness of ONE we can comprehend the scope of being plugged into the cosmic energy consciousness.
It was so refreshing to clients to understand:
The empowerment of knowledge creates the safe space to stand in that power with a vulnerability that is not disempowering. This knowledge gave them the confidence to release the nervous energy they may be inadvertently connecting to and with that understanding their shields can deflect what is not in their highest good.
I am happy to help!
I cannot help you if you are looking for a goalie.
I can help you if you need some clarity about the type of energies that are coming toward you and how they may be affecting your ability stand in your power.
Until next time,
I thought about the length of this post and perhaps I should prepare it in smaller versions. Then I thought about what it represents and I am over short versions. As really I am relating to the long haul, the journey and the path along with which we travel. So I will not apologize for the length, I will however invite you to pour yourself a bevy of choice, put your feet up and take a moment to read this. I hope you enjoy the story and perhaps share your own inspirational journey with me.
This story begins in Winnipeg and ends in British Columbia.
Some 38 years ago when I first heard a name Terry Fox, I had no idea what his journey would mean to me personally.
For those of you who may not be familiar with Terry’s story let me share a bit about it.
This tenacious and determined young man was born in Winnipeg Manitoba in 1958. A city I know well as I was born there in 1956. His mother Betty would become a cheerleader and advocate for his cause something that I can relate to having had the amazing opportunity to do so for my family. He grew up in Port Coquitlam British Columbia and loved sports. Something I do not share although I do admire those who can and do have talent and the ability find joy participating in various sports. Terry competed in basketball and cross country running. He had the mental toughness to succeed. I on the other hand always doubted my abilities in life and did not have much confidence to stand in any kind of power in my early years.
In March 9, 1977, Terry discovers that he has a malignant tumour in his right leg which results in being amputated above the knee. In my life I was planning a September wedding to my high school sweetheart. Terry’s life being impacted by a diagnosis and mine starting a life full of adventure and hope, both of us unaware what life would require of us. Each one at different ends of a scale both with equal opportunity to dig deep when life goes sideways.
Terry’s heroes journey begins the month of February 1979 as he decides to train for a run across Canada from the east to west coast to raise money and awareness for Cancer research.
April 12, 1980, Terry dips his artificial leg in the Atlantic ocean in St. John’s Newfoundland and begins his marathon as he runs 43 km (23 miles) per day which takes him through 6 provinces. I have visited St. John’s Newfoundland as my very dear friend and Soul Genesis mentor resides just outside the city. It is a breath taking province with beautiful but rugged terrain. I cannot fathom running along side the highway in winds and weather that can be hurricane quality. Terry did, with his small crew following behind in a van collecting the funds that the scores of people in various communities were giving and being there when he needed rest.
In the year 1978 until 1981 my life was in the city of Thunder Bay, Ontario. My husband’s career had us living in the port city with beautiful Lake Superior and amazing landscapes.
September 1,1980 after 143 days and 5,373 kilometres (3,339 miles) in a news conference held in Thunder Bay, it was announced that Terry’s primary cancer had spread to his lungs and his Marathon of Hope would be suspended while he received treatment. My husband and I heard this sad news while we were on holiday in Toronto, Ontario. I remember weeping feeling so sad and compassion for the handsome, curly haired young man who brought a nation together in courage and hope. His message to the country was “I’m gonna do my very best. I’ll fight. I promise I won’t give up.”
Sadly on June 28, 1981 Terry dies in New Westminster British Columbia just shy of his 23rd birthday.
My life has now been moved to another northern town and in time my husband and I settle in Mississauga Ontario, just outside of Toronto.
The Terry Fox foundation to date has raised $750 million worldwide for cancer research. Betty Fox became the spokesperson and familiar face at the events. Before her death in 2011 she had spoken to more than 400,000 school children and her parting words in every speech, “Never, ever give up on your dreams.”
My life carried on with the birth of 2 children. We returned to Thunder Bay one summer on a family vacation and took our children to view the statue of the young man that they learned about in school. It was a poignant moment and it will be a several years before my husband and I return.
As our children grow and we go through life transitions that only family can bring about, I have many times had to dig deep into my resources to find strength and courage to fight and to not give up.
Through this period I am learning new knowledge through many self awareness courses, certifications in wholistic practices and have started to help people through their own life transitions.
In 2013 my husband was one of the casualties of the economy and after 16 years working globally for a company found himself in the land of unemployment. It was devastating news however with his skill set he was not too concerned that the opportunities would come. The wait was on and on and on.
As the realization that the economy was not aligning opportunities we decided in 2015 to relocate to British Columbia. Our destination was not totally defined however we had strong feelings to around the Coquitlam or Abbotsford area. The early dream to retire in this province was going to become a reality, except we were not ready to hang up our businesses and thought it would a nice gateway to a slower pace for that next transition.
Then life throws a curve ball. The kind that takes your breath away and has you grasping on for dear life.
Through all the planning and the moving and the packing my husband had his right foot in a cast resulting in me doing the all the preparation work. A May injury to his ankle results in many trips to Drs. before the correct diagnosis is given.
Nothing is going to stop us. My husband has Terry’s mental toughness to succeed and determination to make his dreams come true. I was not sure about my own abilities. The sale of our home is to be finalized on Oct 1, and another curve ball, seriously the universe really had us in the “dug out”.
Our 38th wedding anniversary was on that September 23 and we celebrated that day in the hospital. The cast had been removed earlier in the month and my husband was in a walking boot. This created a small wound which in 3 days became a raging infection. And yes, for those who are wondering he is a diabetic. The announcement came on September 22 that his right leg would need to be amputated below the knee.
“Hold on….did you say amputated?” We have a move happening, our house is closing in 9 days! The whirlwind of activity that took place and the love that started pouring over us was like a Tsunami.
The surgery took place and I shall share more about that another time of how the universe has your back and I say that with complete utter trust and confidence.
The rehabilitation was quick and my husband very focused. The goals he had printed on the white board in his room was out by Christmas driving by February. Which of course he did make happen.
We set up household in a rental condo with only the necessary boxes unpacked. We settled into the new life, the hallway of never again and not yet. I found myself having to physically be able to move locations, care for a husband who was recovering from a surgery that for a period of time left his mobility limited, while dealing with my own dreams being crushed. Totally, vaporized.
I was not only in a hallway I was in what felt like the hallway of hell. Of course I was not alone my husband felt the weight of how his life would continue from this point in time. Our fear, anxiety, anger, grief was the emotion of the day. Some days we could support each other completely and other days all we could muster was getting out of bed.
I had self help tools that I had been collecting for about 14 years. My journey of spirituality and self awareness gave me quite the selection. I did from time to time require a friend or mentor to shine some light for me when it got too dark. I had early on decided I would honour myself with what I called “Barbara’s pity party” for a maximum of 15 minutes per day. I could rant, swear, stomp, scream, or cry and then that was it until the next day. The rest of the day was about moving forward, creating positive moments, planning dreaming and building. I still had clients to work with and I did not want to let them down. I did learn during that time that I did have mental toughness, I did have courage and I could do anything I put my energy into. Talk about a mind blowing freaking ah ha moment! My “pity parties” became fewer and fewer.
As we both healed and life became the new normal British Columbia still beckoned. However the emotional and financial toll on us was heavy and when my sister who is my earth angel, and yes they are real (and that too shall be another time and story) extended help by moving in with them in Manitoba it became a full circle.
So with boxes packed yet again, my husband and I took to the highway. Each in our own car, music blaring and the big city lights in our rear view mirror. The prairie town where our story began is in the windshield.
A few days before our departure I have a dream and I see Terry Fox running along the highway. He had a distinguishing hop and run and I could see it very clearly.
I felt that determination, the never give up attitude.
It was not myself who could be compared to this young man as it was my husband who had the life altering amputation.
I was the “crew”, coming along in support.
I am sure Betty Fox had dreams and aspirations for her son and family and then became the spokes person for others who experience the outcome of Cancer.
The night before we arrived in Thunder Bay the decision was made to stop at the Terry Fox memorial site.
It was a beautiful drive. The hills and turns of the highway as you drive along Lakes and rocks is a motorcyclists heaven I am sure. For me as always when I have returned to Thunder Bay I have a deep connection, a soul connection and that day was no different. The Sleeping Giant or Nanabijou as it is known in the Ojibway traditions has always held a special place in my heart.
As I approach the park my husband is waiting. Together we join hands and walk along the path up ahead to the statue. So large, so commanding, like Terry was. We both take our time walking around the statue and each of us wiping tears from our eyes. Each in our own space of what the past few years of this life transition has held. Each of us deep in thought about the young man who brought a country together, inspired others to live their dreams and lived a full life. There happened to be a young man just about to leave when I approached and ask if he would mind taking a picture and he says “sure”.
My husband and I with our arms around each other smile, knowing that “we won’t give up”, that we will “never, never give up on our dreams.”
I wanted to share this story with you as a message of not just hope, but of community, of love, of courage and of perseverance. We had so much support and love from community during our hallway experience and it continues.
Our journey is not complete as yet we have not arrived in British Columbia and we have not given up on the dream that it will happen.
What we have surrendered is holding on with tight fists we are open to allow the space for God, or Divine Source, The Universe or Dude what ever you call the amazing Creating Energy to step in and help unfold our divine soul plan.
I have learned that it is ok to seek assistance when you are in the hallway. Sometimes we need an extra pair of eyes, or stronger light to see the path and a hand that will reach out and let you know you are not alone and to be your “crew”. And even when your destination has a totally different outcome and one you never ever would have consciously chosen, you can experience joy, love and excitement in the new one.
Yes, there may be a period of transition and acceptance and that is ok. It is when you look back at the journey and you see all the surprises and gifts along the way that you would not have had, or otherwise understood the statement “for your highest good” which becomes very clear indeed.
So when I close my blogs and postings with I am happy to help I truly do mean it.
When I say I know life transitions I truly do mean it.
When I say that I have experienced help and support along the way and want to be that for you I truly do mean it.
When I say that you have courage and abilities that are waiting to be uncovered I truly do meant it.
If you know nothing else, be 100% assured that you are not here to struggle you are here to thrive and you can be the Terry and Betty Fox to someone. A way-shower or a support crew we each and every one of us ordinary people have opportunities to discover our extraordinary experiences.
Thank you for hanging out till the end!
I hope you see your life transition journey in a different light.
I am happy to help!
I cannot pack your house for moving.
I could…but seriously I am over it!
I can however help guide you on your journey through a doorway of the unknown. I love being part of the support “crew” and I have acquired a few tools from my own journey that I am happy to share!
Until next time,
Has your journey taken you to somewhere unexpected?
Have you ever been nervous to open something? The anticipation of what you might dare to find inside. And to your surprise it is something totally unexpected.
Let me share a true story.
It all begins in a small Mexican village with a family holiday consisting of my sister and I and our husbands. We rented a lovely home with horses grazing on the mountain behind the house, orange trees in the back yard, hibiscus trees climbing the wall, warm and wonderful days.
As the days unfold we get settled into the home exploring and enjoying. My sister remarks that something is wrong with the toilet in their bathroom. It suddenly is leaking and perhaps running a bit too long. This calls for more investigation.
I am in another room when I hear my sister yell my name in a way that makes me run. I find her and her husband standing in their bathroom with wild looking eyes.
“There are frogs in the tank" she says. “What?” I reply. “Frogs” she says. My brother in law nodding his head in agreement.
He reaches over and lifts the lid.
Yup there they were, three little frogs sitting on the tubing.
How in heavens name did they get there?
We pondered and discussed but could not fathom the journey they had. After a few minutes of discussion it is decided I will text our property manager named Angel, and it became very apparent during our stay that he was indeed an Angel.
I have no Spanish except for greetings, ordering a beer, and thanking someone, nothing in the realm of explaining our situation.
Thankfully Angel’s English is much more proficient. I text a brief message “ Angel can you come to the house as the toilet is leaking and we have frogs in the tank” “WHAT” is the reply “Frogs” I message back. “I will arrive soon” Angel texts back.
True to his word, Angel arrives quickly. I take Angel into the bathroom and he lifts the lid. With the same shocked wild eyes he states “ There are frogs in the tank”. “Yup” I reply.
We both smile and he reaches in a scoops one out and opens the window and out it goes.
In a moment his young assistant comes in with tools to fix the leak and Angel speaks rapid Spanish to the young man and lifts the lid. With the startled wild eyed expression that is now the norm the young man replies something in Spanish. Angel replies in English “Yes frogs.”
All three of us are crowded around the toilet smiling and shaking our heads. Angel scoops out the last two frogs which are then sent out the window. Released to the outdoors our little friends have found freedom.
This story makes me think about how we navigate life. We go about our days, eyes wide open taking everything in. We have it all under control right?
I imagine the little frogs felt they had their life under control.
Swimming along and saw something new to explore, a little tunnel. Where could it lead and what could be at the end of it? As they ventured into new territory they found themselves stuck unable to turn back.
This can be very similar to when we start a new journey, ready to transform and change when life feels frustrating or unfulfilling. We are excited to get started to then find ourselves later questioning our decision with fear. What if there is no escape? What if it is worse than where we are now?
How did we find ourselves in this situation? What journey did we take to get here? Are we afraid to open the lid to what we may find?
The trio of frogs kept moving forward. Their commitment to finding a solution to the situation was their intuition that there was an opening and a place to rest.
Our little frogs did something to change their situation by getting our attention.
The leaking toilet alerted us to their plight. They took action by sitting on the tubing out of harms way and waiting for curious humans to lift the lid. They were calm and did not fight the tank. Instead they were patient and waited in their “hallway” for a new door to open.
That door was opened by Angel who assisted them and set them free to enjoy the big outdoors again.
Sometimes our life transition journey requires a decision to seek assistance, commitment to action followed by rest to regroup and then results.
When the fear of the new decision sets in we may feel stuck, this is a perfect time to check in and lift the lid.
Is there a pattern we can see?
Do we have a belief that is being uncovered?
What little frogs are waiting patiently to alert us to the learnings in the moment?
This opportunity is where you may:
- connect to your Soul guidance for navigation to access your path
- understand your purpose from your Soul blueprint,
- recognize the obstacle
- confidently see the solution
- take the appropriate action ask for assistance if further clarity is required
- find yourself free to explore again
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you with any plumbing problems caused by frogs.
I can help you look under your lid to find the solutions
to moving easily through your tunnel.
Until next time,