This week is a double whammy!
Our son turned 35 on Tuesday and Mother’s Day on Sunday! I can’t believe the time has flown by so fast.
It just seems like yesterday that I celebrated my first Mothers Day. Of course our son was 1 week old and I oscillated between extreme joy of being a first time mother to extreme fear of being a first time mother.
I WAS TERRIFIED TO BE A MOM!
Can you relate?
It was a big decision to start a family. In fact it was so big it took 7 years of decision. It seemed my husband and I were never really on the same page at the same time until the 7th year.
According to Joanne Walmsley who writes on what numbers mean - “Angel Number 7 tells of learning new skills, listening to your own inner-knowing, and stepping out of your comfort zone in order to further develop and advance on all levels.”
Well I tell ya, that's a truth bomb right there!
There is nothing like having a baby to learn new life skills, and I was totally out of my comfort zone. I second guessed any inner knowing and yet there was a stirring in me that I connected with this little being. I guess having him in my body for 9 months will do that.
Our start off to parenthood was a long and trying labour. I won’t bore you with the details but lets just say 35 years later I still remember it like yesterday! My fear of not being able to care for a child was at an all time high. We had no family near by and I felt like a fish out of water. Back in those days you were kept in the hospital for about 1 week and because of the baby being jaundiced we stayed a couple of extra days.
I was secretly relieved until the doctor announced it was time to be discharged.
I asked if we could stay a bit longer. The doctor inquired as to how long and I replied “until he is 18”.
Yup, I was dead serious.
Well, the hospital did not see my version of parenting and sent us home. Those first few days were a roller coaster of emotions. Hormones at an all time high! My husband reflects on that week and did not know who cried more the baby or I. But life did settle down and being a mom became more and more comfortable. 3 years later with my confidence installed we welcomed our daughter.
My momma mantra was “You did not come with a manual and I am doing the best I can with the tools I got.”
Thank God, they did not realize how limited my toolbox was!
Remember this was in days before computers, Google, parenting blogs and don’t get me started on feeling the energy because I was not plugged in at all.
My Dr. Spock Guide to Parenting was dog eared. As I read the book the information did not resonate. It almost seemed alien…no Star Trek pun intended.
As time went on I began to listen more and more to my inner-knowing. I developed and advanced on all levels as my interests into the realm of energy grew.
My wish for a parenting manual came into existence and it is one that resonates deeply.
My children are grownups however I am still a mom. Parenting never stops, it deepens and morphs as they become adults. It is a fine dance to be supportive and observe and give guidance when asked. And step the heck back when not asked!
The body of work that provided the information to parent not only effectively but consciously... is Soul Genesis.
Soul Genesis is a deep body of work that outlines your souls blueprint. Why you are who you are and what you are here to experience.
In true transparency I have no profile on my son as it is not of interest to him. My daughter did ask to have her profile completed when she was older and it was amazing. It explained to both her and I who she was at her core. I also showed how we have some similar traits and why we understand and also trigger each other. It was so beautiful for me as a mom to see the depth of her soul.
Although I do not have access to my son's soul essence I do understand my role in his life through my own blueprint, and that has helped me understand our mom/son relationship.
Soul Genesis gave me the dance steps to guide, observe and keep my opinions mostly to myself (remember earlier I wrote about being out of my comfort zone as part of my learning and developing..will just say I am continuing to learn when to lead and when to follow) as I enter into the parent/adult relationship.
Do I still mess up? Yes!
Am I still terrified being a mom? Somedays!
I have reflected if having this knowledge would have been of benefit when guiding my children in their formative years. I always get a resounding yes.
I have the understanding that there is divine timing and I was not ready to have certain information sooner than I did. I needed to have experienced my own growth before I understood the depth of theirs.
I love working with parents who have a soul profile compiled for their children, after they have had their own done.
It is like handing them a Universe Guide to Conscious Parenting.
They never look at their child through the same lens again. They truly see them for the gift, the wise one and the perfect divine being.
And let me tell you whether you are parenting a 2 year old through a tantrum or a 16 year old with attitude we have the choice to see them through the eyes of the universe in that moment as a conscious parent.
You still will want to lock yourself in the bathroom for quiet time away from toddlers. You may have to count to 100 before you explode when your teenager rolls their eyes and mutters under their breath how you nag them... because they have ignored your pleas to stop leaving unfinished plates of food in their room.
I can relate and understand my children from an energetic point. When repeating patterns are showing up and why. The soul contracts being fulfilled and my child's contribution to the growth of the planet.
It is a different energetic time on this earth and dare I say a different way to parent.
I am happy that I decided to become a mother.
Being a parent is the hardest relationship I have ever entered into as it is a level of vulnerability that can be so raw and yet so beautiful at the same time.
I have learned a lot about myself on this journey called motherhood that started 35 years ago.
They may leave the nest but they leave an imprint on your heart forever.
Enjoy Mother's day as a child, a parent, step parent, co parent, grandparent, aunt, friend. As you honour the celebration of birth, growth, nurturing and learning of self and others.
I am happy to help.
I may not be able to prevent your teenager from leaving plates of unfinished food in their room but...
I can supply a guide to understand the why.
If you have questions about Soul Genesis and conscious parenting.
Until next time,
Well, Mercury, is all everyone is talking about these days.
I don't mean Freddie Mercury although he is a hot topic. What I am referring to is Mercury retrograde (RX)! About 3 times a year the planet Mercury takes center stage. Planets can not go backward. Mercury retrograde refers to the relative positions of the planet and Earth. And how they are moving around the Sun which gives it the appearance of a retrograde.
Mercury RX gets the bad rap for our computers getting flaky. The email that was misinterpreted and when our systems go awry. We are warned not to sign contracts or start new businesses during this time.
Seriously how can one planet transit get such a bad rap! And what can we do about it other than taking to our beds?
I am not interested in debating the existence of retrogrades. But, I happened to get curious about the energy of a planet transit and how it affected me. It was my current relationship to the Mercury RX and wondered if it was affecting you too?
During a Mercury RX it often appears that things come to a complete stop.
When you have had previous success in something and now it's stalled, you scratch your head and ask why?
What is different?
Nothing seems to have changed.
The project was running so well last week and now it seems one delay after another.
It may be you are experiencing challenges around a relationship that is blossoming. Both individuals feel excited about the possibilities of where this could lead. And then, all of a sudden miscommunication have you arguing about what was said. And what was meant? Perhaps you want to connect with someone. And you know that connecting with that person would be such a benefit to both of you. Yet your calendars just don't match.
This past while I have been really focusing on systems. Oh yes, those who know me will say "I know...your eternal pattern of organization is activated yet again." And you would be partially right.
It is different in this instance as I do not want to get more organized.
But rather, I am looking for deeper meaning in certain aspects of how I am currently navigating life. I am journaling questions that have popped into my head. Which leads me to do deep healing and clearing of past traumas and wounds.
All to get to the bottom of why!
Behold the Mercury RX!
The energy around a retrograde has us wanting to go more inward. We find ourselves internalizing everything.
To me, a retrograde means the perfect time for review, reflect and rethink!
The systems I am looking at is not necessarily business steps, like the ones I will follow to finish my taxes. Or those I will I use to engage with my community to share knowledge.
I am exploring systems (or adaptation patterns) I have created to help my soul express itself. This, of course, shows up in both my business and my personal world.
Since March 5 I have been reviewing these aspects. I have been going over my business systems to tweak them for more consistency. While my coping pattern for change gets activated as I make lists.
I take a step back from list building to reflect what is working and what is not. The systems that are not working will need to go. I am required to rethink how to move forward with new plans in place.
Lately, I have noticed my energy is laced with frustration, anxiety, and self-criticism. With a good sprinkling of self-doubt. Can you relate?
As an entrepreneur, our businesses are an extension of who we are. What shows up in our personal life is mirrored back in our business and vs versa.
The current retrograde prepares us for a huge energy shift happening later on this month.
We can use the opportunity of this slow-paced retrograde to do the inner work in preparation.
During the retrograde time we often see the patterns appearing.
We will think to ourselves "I thought I dealt with that". And you may have on one level. The fact you see it again says that only part of it was healed. When we are releasing or purging the stuff from our past, we are unpacking the trauma. Did we heal it completely? Or was there some self-sabotage involved that kept it from being completely dealt with.
We only heal what we can consciously deal with at that specific time. So the wound appears again for us to process it and heal layer by layer. When we physically, emotionally or mentally experience past pain, trauma or wound, we can with a full intent release and heal them.
A Mercury retrograde creates the energetic supportive environment to:
- REVIEW what is needed to be released.
- REFLECT on what have been healed in the past and what is left to address now.
- RETHINK our methods moving forward - allow time to integrate the wisdom gained.
I now have a different view on all things Mercury!
While Freddie Mercury shone a light on hidden topics and brought people together with his music. Mercury Retrograde shines a light on hidden aspects of ourselves to reflect and heal so we can continue to move forward.
Either way, I would say "We are the Champions!"
I am happy to help,
I can’t join you at the Freddie Mercury Karaoke night!
I CAN help you with gaining clarity and focus during this Mercury Retrograde.
Let's chat and discuss how!
Until next time,
ARE YOU READY TO CREATE A NEW PATH?
I love reading my astrology report for the year ahead. I do not think that whatever is written in the stars is etched in stone as we all have free will and choice. But I do love to see a glimpse of the potential of the year ahead.
I also love numerology. I like the concept that everything holds a vibration and numbers do as well. Numbers can indicate the types of vibration that is current or will come up.
Last year 2018 in numerology added up to an 11 year. This represented a we and me energy. This type of energy is about balancing partnerships and individuality.
It was a year represented by the healing of Self and was a year of spiritual understanding.
That was such a huge theme, don't you think?
In our social media and news feeds, we learned how individuals stood up to take back their power. To shed light on the dark energy that was disempowering which creates victims.
We began to question partnerships. Were they were being positively supportive or perhaps fed the disempowerment?
The energy behind 2018 was about clearing. There were those who stood and spoke their truth. Many were courageous to shine a light on the darker corners of our planet. We began to understand on our personal level the old ways were no longer working for us. It seemed like our path was disintegrating behind us as we strode forward through 2018. There was a feeling of no turning back.
That brought up a lot of fear for many of us. I know I felt at times the hot breath of change on my neck while I was not ready to open the door of change and step through. The universe, of course, saw the bigger picture and often pushed me through anyway.
Do you remember playing games as a child and calling out “Ready or not here I come?” It was my theme for 2018. Can you relate?
This makes me feel a bit uneasy about 2019. Will it be as intense? Have the changes I have made be enough or will the learnings be slapping me upside the head this year too?
2019 is the energy of elevation. 2019 in numerology is a 3 year number. Which represents creation, creativity, self-expression and emotion.
Last year we were learning to stand in our truth and speak it.
This year we get to practice our lessons learned and express our uniqueness. We still are in the midst of change. For many of us, it will still be a period of integration of what we learned last year. There will be ample opportunities to apply what we learned and reapply if we did not. Life lesson repetition is what this is called. Around and around we go! We may feel we are always on a merry go round stopping at the same place. However, we are actually stopping with a higher elevation and a deeper perspective.
As we move forward the path behind us disintegrating is forcing us to abandon old ways that will not fit the new. We can begin to feel the anticipation. What is going to happen? How is this going to work? I do not know how to do this? What if I fail?
This is a prime time for our Eternal Patterns to kick in. Anticipation is one of the categories of stress, and our Eternal Pattern is the coping strategy.
The beauty of the 3-year energy is the representation of:
How can I create a new way of doing something? Can I look outside the box at this situation?
How can I use my talents and knowledge from my Soul Blueprint that will help me create the new?
What emotions are coming to the surface? How can I shine a light on the ones I had stuffed down and not acknowledged? Can I embrace those emotions and see how their needs can be met?
For some, you have been actively making changes. For others you may feel like time is running out and panic may be setting in. I can honestly say I have been in both places! In fact, I can alternate from one to another.
When the old ways are coming apart I must make the conscious effort not to focus on the chaos or panic. Otherwise, I will feel disempowered and I can lose my passion while my faith is tested.
The energy theme of this 3 year is creation. Creating our world does come from our thoughts. This will be the learning of patience when making decisions. Being careful of our thoughts as we know every action creates an equal reaction.
Place the panic of time running out and the fear of making a wrong decision on a shelf.
Then get quiet.
Take some deep breaths. Unplug from your devices, go for a walk. Take time in nature. Listen to some beautiful music.
Place your hands on your heart and ask -
* What do I need to acknowledge about making this change?
* What emotions are coming to the surface?
* How can my emotional needs be met?
Pull in your energy. When we attempt to do too much we come restless and reckless! (I call that running through the hallway of change with scissors.)
The first step to gathering your energy always begins with the breath. Then get focused on your heart. This is where the seat of the soul lies. This is where you can receive guidance from your Higher Self.
Remember you are a Divine Soul. You are perfect and not broken. You are on a journey that is about remembering who you are.
This year will be about your true self-expression and how exciting is that?
Embrace 2019 in a state of curiosity and wonderment. What I will learn about myself? What opportunities are going to appear to support that?
This is a time where the veil is being lifted as we can see the dark. We have the choice to acknowledge it for what it is and move towards the light. This is how we become balanced.
We are in a time for the planet to LIVE and CREATE from the heart!
2019 creating your new path to embrace compassion, understanding and honouring your truth as an individual and as part of the universal consciousness.
I am happy to help.
I can't help you with disappearing paths.
I CAN help you build the new path ahead, that aligns with your true Divine Purpose and Divine Blueprint.
Let’s connect with a free consult call to discuss how!
Until next time,
Aren’t you sick of New Year’s resolutions? Each year we plan and set goals and within a couple of weeks, we have dropped them.
How frustrating is that?
I mean every year I choose to exercise and then I never follow through.
I feel like such a slug.
So what makes a person choose the new year to begin again?
It makes sense - new year, new you! We have all bought into that marketing slogan. The hype for new year resolutions begins in early December. We are already stressed about shopping and planning for a big holiday. Notions such as - we better spend lots or we will disappoint people. We must eat all those wonderful treats even if it means water retention, weight gain, and new holiday outfits that magically shrink.
I hate when that happens, don't you?
Where do those clothes shrinking closets actually come from I wonder?? Oh well....
Then the feeling of shame settles in and we must do something. Seriously how could we not? So we pick something which is making us feel unhappy. I better lose my holiday weight so I can get into those new outfits. Or this year I am finally going to start exercising because it is what I "should" do. I am going to finally get a higher paying job so I can clear out the Christmas debt.
Yes; I will do it!
It will be easy because there is always that new year 7-week program to help. Right?
We have all been there. The promise of a program and the disappointment of the outcome. Why?
It appears other people achieved success. Why am I such a failure at this? Every year it is the same
darn thing. Well, what if it is because we are misaligned in our focus?
So for me each year it is about the exercise. Yes, I am going to be a yoga guru by years end. I shall be a supple pretzel bendy warrior posing guru.... or maybe I will just wait until I look better in my yoga gear.
Another year and the plan is over before it actually got started.
Why is that I wonder?
I keep thinking I need to improve. So why not chose health after all. Isn’t it what everyone is doing? It is important so I better get on the bandwagon.
A new year, a new you!
But really is it a ‘new’ you? Or, is it an old you with the same hidden stories and the same non-results.
Don’t you deserve better?
When we are looking to change something in our life it requires some curiosity.
The question now becomes - why do I want to make this change?
Is it to become healthier? Or am I following a suggestion of someone else’s idea that everyone must have 20 minutes a day of exercise?
So if it is because you wish to get healthier that is wonderful. Get the snazzy new yoga gear and start. If it is because "everyone should" have 20 minutes a day for exercise; take a pause and think...am I everyone? Do I feel comfortable taking 20 minutes a day for exercise?
If the answer is ‘yes’ - go ahead with your plan. If the answer is ‘no’, the next question is how much time am I comfortable with? If you find no amount of time rings your bell then, ask another question.
Why am I not comfortable taking time for me?
Now it starts feeling juicy; doesn't it? It does not matter if it is exercise, weight loss or debt reduction, it all boils down one thing. If you don't feel comfortable about doing something for your benefit it just won't get done. Self-sabotage will set in and excuses start multiplying faster than the interest rate on your unpaid credit card.
It is not about the exercise, it is about what I feel about myself. I may discover I do not feel I am worthy of taking time out of my busy day just for me. Heavens; who do I think I am! Putting myself first, really! Hmmm. Now that’s interesting.
The reason I fail is that I have not started with a self-care plan. Having a plan in place about time for me. I need to pivot to be in agreement with taking ‘me time’ before I can commit to a yoga regime.
I need to make sure I am on board with this decision on the unconscious level too. By saying something and buying the equipment does not make it so.
Discovering where we are feeling unfulfilled can shed light on why you have chosen this year's resolution and then take action.
Is there an alignment to the area of where you are feeling satisfied and to your new years' resolution choice?
A simple exercise can be:
Write down 6 categories on your life
Next think briefly what a satisfying life might look like for you in each area. Choose a value between 1 (very dissatisfied) and 10 (fully satisfied) of where you are feeling satisfied in each of the areas. Write the score alongside.
Now take a little time and write down your thoughts on the following questions:
For example, if the score shows your ‘health’ rates quite high why are you stressing on the exercising?
If the area of ‘fun & friendships’ rates low on the scale, then maybe taking a yoga class will help you meet new people and widen your circle of friends.
If the area ‘relationships or career’ rated low because of stress, perhaps participating in yoga a few times a week will help you relax.
Another perspective is ‘why exercise’ when it is really the finances which are creating unhappiness. Ask some probing questions around your feelings on money and how your openness to receiving money will affect your personal evaluation. What area in your career do you feel unfulfilled and what is holding you back from making changes?
With clarity around the true feeling of being unfulfilled, you can easily align the reason why you might choose a specific resolution. And have better success at following through!
Clarity can be obtained when you understand yourself at your core. What your strengths and patterns are. Using the information from your Soul Genesis© profile will help you understand where misalignment is, then pivot alignment to your true self.
This method of self-reflection and curiosity stops choosing new year resolutions randomly and supports you in making changes where misalignment is actually present.
2019 - the year to STOP making new year resolutions and start making aligned choices.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you with your yoga poses.
I can help support you take action towards change
be in alignment with your year's new choices!
Let’s connect with a free consult call.
Until next time,
A few short years ago I was in a place in my life that was a transition. The hallway of this transition felt like my darkest hour.
My husband and I were getting ready to move across the country when he ended up in a hospital having his leg amputated. That was not the darkest hour. After his surgery, he had a near-death experience and no; that too, was not the darkest hour. I was in the middle of selling our home, packing up our belongings and literally had no place to live. Nope - that too was not my darkest hour.
So you are asking "for the love of God what was my darkest hour?"
It was being so overwhelmed of all that was coming at me where I was literally frozen with fear and indecision. I was, however, thankful my husband did not die. I was thankful our house was sold. I was thankful I was organized and could pack a home by myself.
But to feel the gratitude, now that was a stretch. The only thing I could feel was my energy collapsing, my vitality for life diminishing.
One morning I realized I wanted to be grateful for my life and to live with joy again. That is when I decided to get out a journal and start writing about everything I WAS grateful for in my life......
There are 2 things you may not think you would find in a hallway of darkness. Gratitude, and a way to express it which can be accomplished through journaling.
Did you know gratitude and journaling are “get out of the dark free cards”?
I know, I accept when you are really stuck you may not have the energy to actually write anything down. And don't even get me started on the fuzzy brain to look around and see anything to be thankful for. I would like to invite you to open your mind to a possibility; perhaps it is not as difficult as you may think.
A gratitude journal is a way to focus on positive actions in your life. Especially when you are feeling the positive train just left you standing at the station.
Your journal can be written in a lovely book, it can be an audio recording or typing on a device. If you don't like the sound of your voice or seeing yourself in a video then writing your gratitude moments is probably the better choice. If you like to do things on the go then using an app on your phone may be the ticket.
Choose the method which feels appropriate for you so you can remain engaged and committed.
This is your journey of joy so pick the one that makes your heart flutter with excitement.
You may be asking, but how exactly does keeping a gratitude journal help move me out of the hallway of no thanks?
I started by jotting down anything in the day I felt grateful for. My grateful list varied from having a dispenser for packing tape that worked properly to seeing my husband healing quickly after his surgery.
I decided I would journal before I went to bed each evening. This action was like a mind dump. Instead of laying my head down on the pillow to rehash what didn't work through the day, I was able to smile and see all the positive things I had experienced. I felt calmer and slept soundly.
My gratitude list grew. In the beginning, I would struggle to see 5 items to write down but soon I could have a page full of thankful moments. As my day unfolded I would find myself swapping a "what now?" to "now what!"...with positive curious anticipation of the opportunity to practice a moment of thanks.
Some evenings I would flip through the pages and I would read all my grateful moments. I could feel my energy brighten as I relived all those wonderful times.
I am able to read over past entries when I need a boost, to be able to see the many times I have been grateful.
I acknowledge situations can turn out better than expected. And when something didn't show up that I was anticipating, I had a record of something better that did!
One important thing I learned along the way was not to judge the length of the list. It did not matter if I could fill a page or only write down one thing. It was focusing on the feeling that was activated in me in the particular moment. The feeling was happiness, joy, and love.
I began to realize what was truly important in my life and what was not. It certainly prepared me for letting go, when I acknowledged areas in my life that were not working for my highest good. I knew when I released anything, something better came to fill the void.
And you know why I understood that?
Because I had written proof time and time again. That was so empowering!
What do you write in a gratitude journal if you are not seeing much to be thankful for?
Do you need a little jump start?
Let me shine a light in your dark hallway so you can see some grateful moments. Click on the button below to receive your jump start. There is no opt-in required.
I am happy to help!
I can't help pick out your new journal.
I can help you jump start what to write in it.
Until next time,
Giving thanks when all you see is darkness ahead.
October is the month that we in Canada celebrate Thanksgiving. Families and friends gather to eat together. This is a huge time that focuses on family, friendship, togetherness and giving thanks. It is the dream holiday for the greeting card and travel industries.
The reality is that many people are not feeling the gratitude. They may be standing in a hallway that is not feeling too cheerful. Some may be in the hallway alienated from family, experiencing job loss or financial difficulties. This may be the first major holiday without a loved one.
When I have been standing in a dark hallway, my thought might be why bother?
Why bother to give thanks if I am not feeling like anything I have asked for, attempted to manifest or dreamed about is here?
Have you ever felt that way too?
The hallway of no thanks is one I like to exit quickly.
Just as I have experienced the feeling of no gratitude, I have also had the joy in what is created when I am feeling thankful.
Making a slight pivot can create the energy of seeing more in my life to be thankful for than what I first thought.
I use the time in the hallway for some reflection.
Let’s face it when you are in the hallway you aren’t really not moving, so might as well use the downtime for some good old pondering as to the why. Right?
One way to reflect is to see how areas of your life can be impacted with gratitude.
In your emotional body gratitude helps you to be more relaxed. You begin to feel much better and more hopeful. Your resilience becomes stronger to see that you have the stamina to walk through your hallway. Self-esteem builds with strength and often just taking the breath to make a tiny step will lead to larger steps.
Your health will improve with gratitude. Your sleep improves, your mood is elevated and of course, your energy is higher. You find that you are not becoming ill as often and can actually fulfill your daily duties with more grace and ease.
With your vitality supercharged you will see improvements in your career and relationships. Your confidence will be aligned to make clear, focused decisions that will improve your managing of projects or co-working in a team.
The first small step is to reach out to a hallway partner. The secret to that is to choose only the people who will be your cheerleader. A close friend, a family member, or mentor who is not trying to “fix” anything but is going to be holding space for as you get your bearings.
Holding space can mean just listening, being a sounding board and will only provide advice or comments when asked. When we give thanks to those people in our life our relationships deepen. They are thankful to be able to be of support and you are thankful that you have someone in the hallway with you.
Yes, it may be that you cannot actually see the gratitude in all of your life areas at the moment. The consideration is then to observe if there is even one area in your life that gratitude may be applied and give thanks for it.
It may be as simple as “I am grateful for each breath I take”.
Another technique I have used during my most challenging time in the hallway of no thanks is to get my energy moving.
As my energy starts to move, I begin to gain stamina and calmness that allows me to pay attention to the positive actions in my life.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you with your Thanksgiving turkey.
I can help you step out of the hallway of no thanks,
with a positive energy flow that you can be thankful for.
As my personal thank you,
I have made a little something to help you get your energy moving.
Go ahead and watch no opt-in is required.
Until next time,
Here we are almost at the end of September.
The fresh fall scent in the air, warm days and crisp cool evenings. Perhaps you are enjoying sitting by an evening fire. Are you the type that enjoys watching the fall line up on TV? Are you finding your house a little on the quiet side? The kitchen does not have endless dishes. The fridge has finally been able to cool properly without the ever ending opening and closing. Your gas gage on the car has maintained a lovely setting of almost full all week long!
Are you in the first phase of the blush of empty nesting?
A few short weeks ago you may have made the trek to transfer your beloved darling child to their greatest adventure of all time. Which may be studying at a university or college located in another city, province or heavens…country.
Or are you an old hand at dropping off the new academic to start their wildest dreams.
This might not be your first rodeo at the #student #study #party #needtokeepfocused.
It however may be your first rodeo of #theygraduated #theyhaveajob #theyhavemovedout #nowwhat!
That first while is like being on a honeymoon. Remember back when? Just the two of you sitting in the evening and have deep meaningful conversations. Holding hands and gazing into each others eyes.
Well, I sure hope this is what it is like for you!
In my experience our empty nesting was different.
Yes, I was totally jazzed to finally get the dark grey walls of my sons’ room painted something airy and cheerful. I was looking forward to the zen meditation room I could create in my daughters room.
What I had not anticipated was the no buffer of children.
For a couple of decades the conversations my husband and I had may have started out deep and meaningful but quickly descended into something around one of the children.
It was a constant distraction and over time we lost the ability to really connect.
And there we were sitting next to each other looking at the other person and wondering “who are you?”
And then the even more curious and perhaps even scarier question “who am I?”
Wow! Both those questions kinda knocked me on my butt!
I was so wrapped up in the excitement of the kids growing up, their new adventures in studying, the great new jobs, the new partners in their lives
I had forgotten about my own dreams. I had lost my identity along the way. I was more than a mom, wife, chauffeur, shoulder to cry on when life seemed unfair.
I was a woman who had dreams, bursting with creative ideas, opinions (just ask my husband he will agree on that one). I needed to reacquaint myself with, well myself!
That was when I began my journey, a transition of “who I thought I was” to “who I truly am”.
Yes, some may say it is spiritual which I agree. My thoughts on spirituality is about discovering self love, self acceptance, self awareness while connecting to the oneness of the universe.
I was able to accept that I could put myself first and that did not mean I did not love my family. It meant that I would get more energy and be able to more present and show up as my authentic self.
This was an opportunity for an ending to something, while I transition into another phase of my life.
It was exciting and scary at the same time. Would I change so much my relationship to my husband would suffer? It was difficult I will not kid you on that but it was not about failure or success it was accepting each other as we were. We had grown so much and our view on life had taken on deeper values. We still had our sense of humour. We could still trigger each other but most importantly we respected each other for the people we had become.
I love learning all the different aspects of myself.
My children oscillated between GO MOM and WHERE DID MOM GO?
I was ready to explore who this grown up woman was and to really understand my early beginnings.
The life experiences that shaped my views and outlook on life. I was excited to learn that I had a blueprint for my life.
That all the components of myself were placed strategically to optimize my growth experience.
Now that was exciting!
I was able to see how different patterns would help me in my relationship to my self and relationships to others. It is an ongoing journey with no particular destination in mind, but man I love the scenery along the way! Even when it feels like there are boulders on the path. I know I have the ability to choose the ease to walk around the boulders, or the more difficult to climb over them.
Yes, my relationships have changed, some have deepened, some have fallen away.
My husband and I have experienced some difficult challenges during our transition time of empty nesting. Having the knowledge of our patterns and who we truly are helped rediscover our relationship. We maintained our sense of humour, we connected with each other in a new way and we started to embrace and enjoy our children as adults (although they will always be my kiddos first).
Transition from a full house to empty nesters can be sometimes exciting. It is the transition from I knew “who I thought I was “ to “who I truly am” that is exhilarating.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you choose what to make over your child’s room into.
I can help you discover the answer to your question of “who am I?”
Until next time,
From the minute we bring a child home we are planning their future. And here it is the day you have been waiting for. What a ride! The day has arrived your little precious child is all grown up and heading off to his or her excellent adventure that perhaps requires secondary education.
An adventure that will probably cost about $30,000.00 or more per year.
Yikes! That will cause some nights of, did we plan enough to pay for it all? Will they actually study or will it be one expensive party year? Will they use that degree in the studies of:
• Politicizing Beyonce
• David Beckham
• Zombie Studies
• Simpsons and Philosophy
• Arguing With Judge Judy
• Harry Potter and The Age Of Illusion
• Star Trek
Yup these are apparently degrees one can choose from says Google. So if you have an aspiring wizard or they have argued with you since their first word which was NO in a language that sounded Klingon, they are certainly covered.
What an amazing time in both of your lives.
The transition from carefree child to child that has to make decisions based on an interest in the moment, to hope that there will be employment in 4 years.
No pressure there right?
The transition from cheerleading, hovering parent to “so you do understand that you will have to get up on your own and go to class all by yourself”. Right?
Perhaps you are saying, “been there done that and got the graduation picture to prove it”.
Our 34 year old son loved coding from a very young age. In fact he helped me design my first website when he was about 13. I was sure he was going to be the next Bill Gates. Nope, that was not happening. From the age of 4 to this day he is a Lego fanatic as creating and building was a passion of his. When the time to choose his secondary education, he chose College with a degree in Electronics Engineering. It was the best of both worlds and he still loves what he does.
My fondest memory is our daughter who is 3 years younger than her brother debating with him if she could or could not read a chapter book. She was in Kindergarten at the time. Her hands firmly planted on her hips she won the debate with a “I can read words and chapter books are just a bunch of words.” She checked out her first library chapter book and her love of words took her to University graduating with a degree in English. Her career is helping others find their words to market their business. This journey was an interesting one of many career changes. One which lead her into the trades for over a year as a apprentice glazier. At the time she felt it was the hardest job as it was very physical and she learned a lot about herself and her “true grit”. However, her love of words kept calling until she answered it to follow her true passion.
Ah yes, life transitions no matter what, they alter our lives and our perceptions of ourselves, and how we view the world.
Think back over situations that felt transitional.
Did you ever wonder why you chose to receive that particular degree or training…before you knew there was one on Harry Potter studies?
What felt right in that moment that this was the path for you?
Did you choose for yourself?
Did you choose out of family obligation? (or after a long line of Podiatrists the change to Zombie studies was made.)
What was the deciding factor?
Did the choice continue to satisfy you or after some years a change in studies or career happened?
Did you graduate with a degree or training to say "nope, I do not think this is for me"?
We are hard wired for certain experiences and learnings. It comes in our soul design of what will help us grow expand and fulfill our souls purpose, as it explores the human journey.
When a life transition comes into play having deep knowledge of our blueprint helps the navigation.
When making the decisions based on how we are designed, they can be made with a clarity, focus and confidence.
Yes, of course we still may want to change our minds about studying philosophy according to Homer Simpson to Politicizing Beyonce, but we will understand why learning each of those topics are of interest, and why it was required in being who we are designed to be.
It supports our decisions and we can release judgment of failure, and embrace the truth that at our core we are perhaps curious by nature. It may be that changing midway allows us to receive various world views that are important to our growth and how it relates to our contribution to the planet.
Understanding your soul blueprint will help you see the patterns of why you chose a particular path, how you are designed to make your decisions and where you will apply your unique abilities to fulfill your purpose.
Whether you have a small child just starting school, a young adult heading off to write their own adventure, or you are questioning the next chapter in your own life, having a guidebook will help along the way.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you study for the Harry Potter exam.
I can help support you while you make choices “to boldly go where no man has gone before..."
Until next time,
Summer is over and everyone is getting back to schedules and routines. This year is a biggie as you may be having a child entering into the school system for the first time, or, it could prompt a walk down memory lane of past years.
The excitement of the shiny new backpack, lunch kit and outfit soon turns into crying and resistance…and that is just you! Your child may be having the easier time.
It is a huge life transition that first time we see out little precious child off to school. Having the anxiety of will they be ok? Who will they sit with at lunch? Will they make friends? Are they prepared enough to be without our help? (aka hovering) And if they have to take a school bus, well that is just a full blown parent meltdown right there.
Does any of this ring a bell? (No school bell pun intended.)
Well, let me tell you a true story about the resilience of a child, the strategy of a parent and the success during change.
Despite my helicopter parenting our child did manage to grow up and have a well adjusted life. Our son is now 34 years old. He has a great career, lovely partner and lots of friends. He is our first born and like most first borns a cautious child. Yes as a first time parent I hovered, I did enjoy seeing him play in the park but I was always on high alert for something that might harm him.
And then it became THAT DAY.
In our area they had just introduced Junior Kindergarten and so at the tender age of 5 he would be attending morning school. I was a stay at home mom which meant he did not have any daycare experience. I did go out and have babysitters however it was not all day every day. We began the introduction of school. The chats about how amazing school is, the fun and friends that would be experienced, all of this to alleviate my anxiety more than his.
Then the unspeakable happened.
Three weeks before the start of school he fell ill. I rushed him off to the hospital one morning, my husband remaining at home with our younger daughter. I stood in a sterile room with a young intern who announced our son had diabetes.
It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. The room felt devoid of any oxygen and the voices seemed far away. My mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer several weeks earlier and I had just returned from spending time with her. I announced I can only deal with one disease at the time so no I don’t think I can do this. In that moment the Paediatric Endocrinologist entered took one look at the wild eyed woman and announced find this woman a seat and a cup of tea!
In that moment I began to breathe, I sat down, drank the tea and waited for my husband to arrive. It was quite the whirlwind of activity that day. Our son was admitted to hospital for about a week. In a blink of an eye we were to transition from being parents to become experts on diabetes, nutrition, psychology and every medical practice known to man. Well...it felt like that!
As we met in the Paediatrician’s office to discuss all things diabetes. She started to discuss schedules, routines and the importance of eating on time, preplanning outings and the list got longer and longer. My husband starts to laugh at which the Dr. says in a rather stern voice, “Mr Ptak, this is a very serious situation you know.” The chuckle gets louder as my hubby wraps his arm around me in a hug and replies “Ya Doc, meet the Queen of Routine, nothing in our house is about to change.”
Yes I am that woman. I love being organized and planning and schedules… lists, and routines, and colourful sticky notes everywhere till everyone around me is driven mad.
Yup, a truth bomb right there folks!
Well, our son came home and we did settle into a new norm. It was not without challenges, tears, frustration, bouts of overwhelm and waves of fear. But as time went on it did get easier and as I said earlier he did grow up and is healthy and happy.
The school year started and that first day was mixed emotions, happy, fear, anxiety, joy, excitement and it cycled to each one several times. Now remember it is only the morning school so from 9:00 till 11:30 and he was in the awesome care of a seasoned Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Cooper. We had met before hand to come up with a strategy that we could all agree upon and our main objective was kid first, diabetes second. It was in that moment in the hospital when our son asked was this forever and I replied “yes and you can control your diabetes it does not control you.” (in a more kid friendly way I recall.) It must have worked because he has always managed his diabetes in a balanced way (somewhat like a cautious first child he is) while not letting it stop him from having a full life..
I did not know then what I know now, but it is my stress pattern of being organized that helped me through one of the most difficult times in my life. The routines and schedules that I loved was actually helping me parent a diabetic child through one of his most difficult life transitions.
I could see it was helpful. It became my barometer as to how overwhelmed I was when I only wanted to make lists and organize stuff….the busy work so I could stuff down any emotions that were bubbling to the surface. When a situation that was not planned (or on the list) I could either go into a tailspin of trying to control it or allow it to unfold. Sometimes it flowed sometimes I held on so tight my hands hurt, either way I got new understanding from it. That new understanding helped propel me forward and take action.
We all have a pattern that we default to during stress time.
Stress can be sending a child off to school for the first time. It can be a parent deciding which lunch kit will be easier for them to manage. It can be standing in a room having the air sucked out of you as life altering news is delivered. It can be choosing which sticky notes will look best as you design and plan your month.
It is all about how we view stress, deal with it or choose to ignore it. The truth is that stress is there for a purpose. It will propel you into taking action and even not taking action. Which is still an action! Ponder that one for a while. (insert large smile)
I would invite you to ask yourself:
If you seem to have a “pattern” to your stress times in the questions you ask, and the behaviour in the response you may benefit from learning how stress helps you. How it motivates you, or, how it can prompt resistance that will create more opportunities for understanding your stress strategy.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you pick out the coolest lunch bag.
I can help you understand your strategy pattern for stressful times.
Until next time,
Have you fallen asleep at the wheel when driving or experienced a near miss? It can be a frightening experience. On moment your eyes are on the road seeing far ahead and the next moment you are jarred awake bullrushes flying past the windows as you sail through a ditch. A detour sign sighted in your rear view mirror.
Wow that can be so unnerving.
Your heart races, your palms clammy, you breakout in sweat and you pray in gratitude to your angels for having you land where you did in one piece!
The same thing can happen on our spiritual road. One moment you are on a path that is easy to navigate and the next moment you are deep in a field of “what the heck” and “how did I end up here?”
As a driver you took precautions, you took lessons to learn how to navigate sticky situations, you had the car properly serviced and you had a map to follow directions.
It was when you pushed the envelope and you did not listen to the cues coming from your body about fatigue and taking enough breaks to be able to handle the drive and having an alternate route for that detour up ahead.
It was in the cheeky mode (ego) of I can do this if I just push on through.
It will be fine!
I bet you are rethinking that as you dial up a tow truck and open the car door to have water come in soaking those brand new designer shoes.
We have our spiritual practices to assist us on our road.
It can be meditation, clearing our chakras, prayer, addressing the energy in our fields that is not flowing but rather stopping our experiences that are to be filled with grace and ease.
All of a sudden you feel like you are walking through sludge. Everyday seems to have one crisis after another. And when did everyone start becoming so negative, sheesh? And fatigue it feels like something has put a tap on you and turned it on to drain you of vitality, creativity and joy.
Yup, it is spiritual narcolepsy.
I first heard this expression coined by Colette Baron Reid an Oracle Master. And I love it. It really does embody what happens.
When we fall asleep spiritually we forget what we are here to do, the path we are to follow and most importantly we set aside our spiritual practices.
This usually leads us to push the envelope until we wake up flying through life swatting at the bullrushes that are holding us back.
Falling asleep at the spiritual wheel can be the wakeup call you need.
Kinda weird how that happens eh?
So then we start looking around, eyes wide open, on alert to what we missed while taking our spiritual nap.
We see where we had stopped meditating, exercising, praying and clearing out the energy crud. (Yup, crud that’s my highly technical term).
Once we begin to lean into our power, set aside time for ourselves, use our spiritual guidebook for directions; we see that life begins to flow again with more grace and ease.
I am happy to help!
I can’t help you with those damp designer shoes.
I can help you with awaken from your Spiritual Narcolepsy.
Until next time,