Have you ever heard the expression when one door closes another opens? Sometimes though it may feel like hell in the hallway as you wait for it to happen.
While you are in that hallway do you sometimes feel like you are running through it with scissors, as it feels kind of dangerous, your heart is racing, and anxiety is at an all time high.
Then you hear your mother’s voice in your head with the dreaded warning that someone is going to get hurt running with sharp pointy objects.
So just like when you were a child you may stop what you are doing,
you run even faster trying to prove a point!
As adults we have choices in the hallway:
I have often times found myself in that limbo state.
I could be waiting to see if something I have been creating manifests. And maybe it doesn’t happen because the timing is not right or in the timeframe I feel is appropriate. (The universe may have bigger plans which may require a longer incubation time.)
That is about the same time my monkey mind chatter goes to work. “What if it never comes?” “What if I don’t deserve it?” “What if I can’t handle all this goodness I am seeking?”
Yes, and this is about the same time I start to run.
And run fast!
If I just get ahead of those darn monkeys yapping in my ear, I'll be ok. Right?
What to do? What to do? Such a dilemma.
Trying to outrun the monkeys, balance the dangerous scissors so I don't get hurt all while deciding which is the best course to run on!
Gosh! That is tiring!
I can choose to slow down and catch my breath.
What may look like inaction to others may be the action of having planted a seed of an idea and waiting for it to take root and grow.
When I am in the waiting room of the hallway is my judgement coming to the surface? Am I creating a story in my head to feed the monkeys?
The judgment is not of what others think, because I am not in their head so how could I truly possibly know what they think?
However, I do have complete and utter control over what is rambling around in my own noggin.
In the deep recesses of my wild imagination I can create amazing thoughts and ideas.
I also have the ability to conjure up the dark and scary stuff. Like the image that mom has suggested about jabbing my hand while running with scissors.
I can feed the monkeys on bits of never, can’t, won’t, unworthy, silly.
Yup, you get the drift. It is a feast of negative thoughts those chattering monkeys love!
Or, I can take a slow and sauntering walk through the hallway to observe and ask a few questions.
Hey, I could actually tell those chattering monkeys that the negative buffet is closed for their dining pleasure. If they would like a first course of positive thoughts dive in and be quiet while noshing please!
The next big questions I can ask are:
Is this really mine?
Am I caught up in someone else's story?
Am I actually feeding someone else’s chattering monkeys?
The anxiety I may be feeling is actually being brought on my the other persons drama, or situation I have become involved in.
When I get caught up in someone else’s stuff I always find myself in the hallway and wonder why the door is not opening.
Seriously, you would think it would dawn on me that I was not the one closing the door as it has nothing to do with me. But as I get drawn in, I not only am in the hallway, I start running with those darn scissors and to discover they are not even my scissors!
The choice is to put down the scissors and walk swiftly down the hallway to my doorway that is open and waiting for me.
Yes, the hallway can be an uncomfortable place to be in but also it can be wonderful.
Sometimes in the hallways there are beautiful pictures on the wall.
Landscapes that tell a story, that give you a new perspective on a familiar scene.
The hallway is a place to sit quietly and contemplate and enjoy the view.
To assess the situation and see what it is about. Is it your picture you created or did you willingly copy someone else's?
The hallway is a great place to use the tools that is in our tool box, sometimes we need reminding we have them.
As I wait for an outcome and feel my anxiety rising I choose tools that are perfect for the situation at hand.
First, I will stop feeding the monkey mind chatter and I can do that while I will meditate to gain insight to where the fear is coming from.
Second, if the situation is because I am caught up in someone else's story I make sure I extract myself from it and implement strong boundaries. I can be loving, compassionate and empathetic without picking up their scissors.
Third, I make sure my energies are strong and flowing freely and I do that with energy clearings. I may ask a friend a mentor or coach to just listen and not engage in my hallway but to remind me to put down the scissors.
As I observe and course correct I become balanced and the door opens and I find myself easily walking through. The scissors stored safely out of reach.
I am happy to help!
If you find yourself in a hallway with doors seemly shut tight,
I promise I won't sound like your mom warning you about the dangers.
I can however offer you tools and strategies on how to move through the hallway
and the best place to stow those scissors.
Until next time,